Round we go

July 25, 2005
It's weird, Meghan gave me her stereo but I had to plug up my old speakers to it. I put in The Used and all I can hear are the instrumental parts on all of the songs. As fucked up as that sounds, it's actually really amazing to actually be able to hear the instruments and what they actually contribute to the songs. On "on my own" the orchestra is just amazing, it's very classical and breath taking to listen to. Then on "blue and yellow" the piano plays through out the entire song but you wouldn't hear it because the guitars and drums drown it out, but the piano is playing the melody through the entire song and it's so fucking beautiful. I kinda like listening to it this way, it's odd, but I like it. I think I'm going to look up some of their sheet music and try to teach myself how to play some of it on the piano.

I think I left off last on Thursday when Elizabeth and I had a jeager-fest at her house. That last entry I wrote was kinda ignorant, oh well, I have so many drunken entries on here, it just doesn't matter anymore.

My weekend was alright. Friday was a good time. Holly and Heather (aka "Deutsch" or "Nurse Deutsch" if you're nasty) got to hang out with us as we partied at Matt's house. His parents were out of town and we had a damn good time. Matt got every drink under the sun, including hypnotic....haha, don't mix that shit with pineapple juice, it tastes like shit. I don't know, I finished up whatever jeager Elizabeth and I had from the night before and just had some rum and juice...no big deal. I got a lil tipsy....of course I was tipsy I was smoking a black. Nurse Deutsch and I made up our own rap...it was off the hook for real. Every one was laughing so hard we were wheezing uncontrollably...plus I was teaching myself the Thriller and Beat It dance off of Michael Jackson's Number One's. Good shit right there. Unfortunately every had to sober up pretty quick because this one kid (forgot his name) got soooooo drunk he was throwing up the rest of the night and every one had to monitor him because if they didn't he probably would have killed himself from his own puke....not a fun thought. The sad part is, he probably only had a third of what the rest of us had to drink that night. Talk about a fucking light weight. If you can't hold your alcohol, don't fucking drink.

I'd rather not discuss Saturday night.

The meeting at Charlotte Russe was actually a lot of fun yesterday. I had forgotten how close we all are there and it was just really awesome. I need to stop comparing myself to Jessie though, I mean she's like Jesus almost....everyone just adores the shit out of her. Sometimes it's just hard for me to be around her because she's so close to perfection it's hard to deal with sometimes.

Tonight I had dinner with my mom and her friends from her bridge club. They're all very nice ladies from St. Mark's :) Dinner was good, so that was another plus. Meghan and I began cleaning out the boxes from the attic tonight. I watched this show on NBC that was pretty neat...forgot the name of it, oh well. I bought a new purse from Target tonight, it made me feel good....then I realized I have a lot of fucking purses, oh well. Seems like I'll always have a shopping problem, it's kind of like people who have a problem with gambling. It's kind of a subtle problem that other people don't really notice until it gets out of hand.

I'm trying to end things all together with BJF. He tried to say that I was starting to get attached because I got upset the last time we were together. I could never, in a million fucking years, become attached to that fucking jack ass of a person. His ego is just so inflated that he thinks I actually care about him. The sad thing is, I actually despise him, but I still meet up with him. Well, not anymore. I need to start doing the right things for once. Another thing I think I'm going to give up is vodka. I've noticed that whenever I drink vodka I get so emotional to the point of no return and it gets ugly. For some reason when I drink other stuff my emotions don't get out of control, and I just do stupid shit along with my emotions being out of control, so I'm probably never going to drink vodka again....if I can help it. I'm scared I wont know what to do with a guy who treats me right.....I'm scared I'm always gonna go for the complete asshole. I feel like if I give up BJF it'll be the first step I take in learning who to waste my time with.

I'm looking forward to Wednesday. Elizabeth's cousin Amy might be in town by then and all of us girls are gonna get together and go down to 4th street...yeah yeah! Maybe I'll finally get to meet the mysterious Michael that I've been hearing so much about. He went to St. X and played football so I'm excited to see this kid in person. If my Freund ever considers having a relationship with him, I HAVE TO MEET HIM FIRST! Especially since all of the recent events that she's been put through with that crazy kid who stalked her.

I'll end up working 24 hours this week at work. I'm glad they've finally started to give me more hours, I just feel like I fucking live at Charlotte Russe now. Ah, it's money.

Later on
-White Jones